I went to a party a couple months ago with my wife. Well, two parties if you count a wedding as a party, which I guess most people would. I've realized that the older I get, the more uncomfortable I feel in large groups. I wouldn't call it anxiety exactly. It's just, I feel awkward. I don't really know what to do in those situations. I'm not entirely sure how to behave when I'm not entertaining or the center of attention. I think I'm perceived to be "the funny guy" to my friends and people who know me. I could be wrong. The problem with categories or labels is that human personalities are much more ambiguous than all that. Sure I'm usually pretty funny (at least I think I am), but not always. And when I'm not being funny I feel pressure to be funny. If I say something and you don't laugh or react or look interested there's a part of me that thinks I have failed in that moment in some way. Don't get me wrong. I'm not blaming that on anyone. It's my own creation I'm sure. The fact that I may feel awkward or insecure in any given situation is no one's fault but my own. I do it to myself.

I don't really like small talk anymore. I'm not good at it. I don't really like meeting new people anymore either.  At big parties you go from one person to the next asking and answering the same questions. "How are you doing these days?" "You still working at the same place?" "How's that large growth on the back of your neck doing?" Couple those questions with trying to be interesting and it's exhausting. I don't begrudge people for asking these questions. I ask them too. We all do. I think there should be more awkward silence in life.

It's weird being an extrovert. I love people. I love networking. I love getting to know new people...but then sometimes I don't. 

I guess at the end of the day you just have to be yourself even if in being yourself you risk people finding out you're really not that interesting or funny. Of course everyone is interesting in their own right, but that's a different blog post.

Check out the Red Carpet Premiere of our new show "The Gym." Subscribe to our YouTube Channel!

The new trailer for "The Gym" is here! Check it out! 

Greetings my friends. I have written, produced and am starring in a new web series called "The Gym." It's about a washed up ex college athlete who starts a gym and the hilarious antics that ensue between he and his employees and the crazy people who come to the gym. We plan on releasing a trailer in November and the first Season in January. We are very excited about this project. I think it's pretty funny. I hope you do too.

Please like and share our Facebook page. www.facebook.com/GarysGymTV
You can also follow us on Twitter and Instagram: @GarysGymTV

We will be releasing the episodes on YouTube in January so please subscribe to our channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_yaUX00OovL5Z2ZxZ__9Zg

Thanks for your support! I can't wait to share this with ya'll.

I even workout in the show, and seeing me workout is kind of like a Big Foot sighting...you won't want to miss it! :) 

Acting is the worst. Acting is the best. If you've ever stood in line waiting for an audition or heard the applause as you walk out on stage to take your bows you know what I mean. Acting is an emotional roller-coaster that never ends. One day you are feeling rejected, dejected, down and out, ready to give up, only to get an email the next day with the subject line "Booking!" How exciting it is to read that word! I'm booked! Somebody wants me to bring their character to life. They could have chosen a million other people, but they chose me! There are days I leave acting class and I feel like the best actor in the world. Other days I leave feeling like a complete fraud ready to throw in the towel. "Really, you think you can be an actor? You're too skinny, you're not funny enough, you're weird," and on and on the self accusations go. We all have these doubts...unless of course you're a narcissistic sociopath in which case you've got bigger problems.

When I first started acting I thought everyone had to look like Brad Pitt or Channing Tatum or something. Apparently I was oblivious to all the movies I had watched over the years and all the different ages, ethnicities, shapes and sizes that make up the cast of those movies. Sometimes insecurities can cause you to create a false reality. But see, that's what's so great about acting. You can be any shape, size, age, ethnicity because real people are all shapes sizes, ages and ethnicities. You can be weird. You can be normal. You can be an extrovert you can be an introvert. I've always been an extrovert so when I got into the acting world and discovered that so many actors are introverts it blew my mind.

Anyway, all that to say, acting is the worst and acting is the best. The rejection is worth it. Don't compare yourself to other people. Everyone has their own journey. Everyone has scars...some people are just more open about them than others. You can do it! Keep pressing forward. Don't act for applause. Don't act for fame or fortune. Act because it is what you were born to do. Act because any talent that has been given to you is meant to be shared with others. 

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Be sure to tune in Saturday night, July 23rd to the Season Premiere of Murder Made Me Famous on REELZ. The subject matter is very dark indeed. It is incredible and heartbreaking to see how one man could influence people to commit such heinous acts of violence. I play Terry Melcher who was the son of Doris Day and was a record producer and friend of Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys, played by Nick Martin. Charles Manson had visions of grandeur and was intoxicated by the desire to be famous. Manson hoped his connections to Dennis Wilson and Terry Melcher would turn in to something more. Tune in tomorrow to see how these relationships unfold. It truly is a tragic and heartbreaking story. 

That's me with my wife and my niece on board a big beautiful plane about to cross the Atlantic Ocean. As you can see, my wife is peacefully closing her eyes enjoying a moment of rest, my niece is having fun just hanging out with her awesome uncle and aunt and well, there I am, trying to hide my fear and anxiety with a lame, no teeth, smile. Yep, I really don't like to fly. I've flown a lot over the last ten years or so. I couldn't even really tell you exactly how many times I've flown over the Atlantic. It's quite a few. Even with all that experience; all those uneventful, smooth flights under my belt, I still get nervous. Remember Bob from the classic movie "What About Bob?" As he walks outside of his apartment onto the streets of NYC he says out loud to himself, "I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful..." That's pretty much what I look like when I'm about to get on to a plane. I get my music pumping and say to myself "I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful." I put my head down and focus on my little video game and just hope the flight seems quicker than it really is. It rarely does. 

Everyone has dreams. Everyone has destinations in their mind they want to get to. Sometimes along the way, we encounter difficulties. We think to ourselves, "wow, if this is really what I'm supposed to do it wouldn't be this hard," or maybe "is my dream really worth it?" Yes! Your dream is worth it!

Maybe your issue isn't with flying. Maybe you have an issue with public speaking, or doing something your family thinks you're crazy for doing. I don't know. You know. I'm willing to bet though, somewhere, somehow, sometime, along your journey, you will face something that will scare the heck out of you. You won't want to keep going forward. You have the dream in your heart, but it just seems too scary. Don't give up! Put on your seatbelt, hold someone's hand and keep going! The world needs you! Don't let fear stop you from getting to your destination! You can do it! If I can fly across the Atlantic you can too! 

I've always loved Superman. When I was little I would dress up in my Superman pajamas and go outside and pretend the sprinklers were laser beams. I would put my hand out and stop those lasers from hurting anything. Of course I would always get really wet and dirty. Thinking about it now, I'm surprised my mom never really got mad at me about that. Thanks mom. Anyway, I always loved Superman, but there has long been a part of me that maybe liked Batman a little bit more. I mean, Superman is an alien, I could never really be him, no matter how hard I try. It is possible to be Batman though. With enough money and some awesome training someone really could be Batman. Maybe that would make a good infomercial? For only 5 easy payments of $599 you too can be a Dark Knight. Anyway, I digress.

You know, none of us could ever become Superman, but according to the movie Superman II, Superman could become one of us. Remember that one? It was pretty good. Superman was in love with Lois Lane and in order to be with her, he had to relinquish his superpowers and become a human. There's some obvious Messianic parallels here, but that's not really want I want to talk about today.

Up until this point, Superman was not like any other human. He didn't bleed. He didn't hurt. He could run fast. Leap over tall buildings with a single bound (yeah, Superman was a leaper before he was a flyer.) He was practically invincible. When Superman fell in love with Lois, he was so focused on his love for her, that he was willing to do anything. He had a dream and he was willing to do whatever it took to fulfill his dream. I think maybe Superman didn't think this one all the way through though.

I think it was the next day after he got rid of his powers that he finds himself at a little diner, grinning from ear to ear, with Lois his love by his side. He comes out of the bathroom and finds that some jerk has taken his seat. Well, you remember what happens. These two guys get into a fight and Mr. mild-mannered, Clark Kent does not win. In fact, he gets beat up up pretty good.

Superman had to give up his powers for his one true love. He quickly found out that being human ain't easy. Humans can get hurt. Humans have to deal with anxiety because we can get hurt. The world can be a scary and dangerous place for us humans. 

So what's my point? In order to succeed at pretty much anything you have to get rid of your protections. You have to become vulnerable. You can't have love without the possibility of getting hurt. You can't be 100% secure and take a risk at the same time. You can't pursue your dreams without the possibility of failing. It's part of the deal. What have you been unwilling to give up to pursue your one true love? You can't get out of it. You can't avoid it. Being human ain't easy, but it's worth it.

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